Wo Yao He Kafei

I want to drink coffee...the most important phrase to learn in any language.

This weekend was debriefing retreat at church....yep, I'm still in the process. I'm still trying to implement all of Father's wonderful lessons from the summer into my life....honestly still trying to grasp things.....still missing being there. But Father has been faithful to show me some small glimpse of purpose in where I am right now, which is a huge blessing. Our team will be speaking in college worship and doing Sunday School this coming Sunday, and I have been praying about what Father would have me share. It's pretty amazing to think about all the words He used to bring me along this summer, and exciting to think about who He will raise up to go overseas next. He brought me to this verse this morning during quiet time....I guess it's more like a passage. This is who we are....Christ chooses us to be the words of life to those who are lost...

All of 2 Corinthians 3 is pretty darn good, but here is a great snippet:
"And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant..."
My prayer is that people will realize not only that God's heart for the nations is something that is to be of the utmost importance for every believer, but that they will also realize that going overseas isn't about being "super spiritual", because none of us are sufficient for these things. It's all about being obedient to Him, and about trusting Him, and about depending on Him. He makes us sufficient. Believe me, I felt completely insufficient to go overseas to share His gospel this summer....and because of that, I was forced to rely on Him completely. He is so faithful.

I've also been so thankful lately for the gift of music. It truly can speak in amazing ways.....so here are some awesome song lyrics...and rather than just listening to them, you should really get the actual song.

You will lose your baby teeth.

At times, you'll lose your faith in me.

You will lose a lot of things, But you cannot lose my love.

You may lose your appetite, Your guiding sense of wrong and right.

You may lose your will to fight, But you cannot lose my love.

You will lose your confidence. In times of trial, your common sense.

You may lose your innocence, But you cannot lose my love.

Many things can be misplaced; Your very memories be erased.

No matter what the time or space, You cannot lose my love.

You cannot lose, You cannot lose, You cannot lose my love.

I really saw that very clearly this summer...good stuff. Sara Groves is really gifted, and you should check her out...I am pretty new to her stuff myself, and it is amazzzing. Ok, well, I am off to "study"...for an account of how last night's study attempt went, check out my facebook videos. Haha.

Sweet

Had a sweet time with Father this morning in the library between classes. Today was a day of prayer and fasting for our church and Father's guidance in finding people to fill vacant positions on staff, and as I was praying, as frequently happens in my prayer times, my mind started leaping all over. I have been really mulling over a lot of stuff lately...anyways. I started weeping as I prayed about Muslim people and what God will do with the heart He has given me for them...I started weeping as I prayed for my friends in East Asia....I started weeping as I prayed about my lost friends here at school...I began to weep as I thought about my shortcomings and how I fail to represent Christ....and I started to weep as I thought about how He still chooses to show me His miracles. After a week of being busy and not taking the time to be still before Him, He broke my heart in a few brief moments sitting in the library. I felt Him surrounding me in that moment, and it was inexpressable how refreshed and revived I felt as I walked to class.

Ni hao!

I have just finished my fourth day of the new semester...whoop! (yep, I can do that now, I'm a junior!). Thus far, it has been okay...crazy schedule, but I am enjoying
(if that's the right word) everything so far...except for maybe anthropology, aka, Evolution is the most important thing in the whole world. Anyways.

Fave class thus far: Without a doubt, Arabic. A close second would be Chinese, although thus far, it has been fairly boring...hopefully it will bet a bit more challenging soon.

Least favorite: ANTHROPOLOGY.

The 2 in the middle: Contemporary Issues in American Foreign Policy, and Advanced Composition.

I am sooo thankful that I followed Father's leading in quitting my job. I wouldn't have been able to manage 19 hours and involvement at church this semester without taking that step. I have been wanting to get involved in a Logos group (Bible study) this semester, and I am prayerfully considering doing TruLife Urban Ministry working with inner-city kids this semester. I am nervous about that, it doesn't seem like my thing, but I really think Father could teach me a lot about unconditional, Christ-like love, and much more, through serving with that.

I am also praying about Christmas teams. It would mean being overseas during Christmas, which would be really weird, Christmas is a really special time for our family, but, Jesus is worth it and Christmastime means a lot of special opportunities to share the gospel with people. I already discussed this with my parents, and they were supportive, which of course makes things a lot easier.

So, all-in-all, this should be an exciting semester. Father is doing something really interesting related to Muslim people and the Middle East...haven't quite figured out what He's up to and how it relates to me precisely. Even as I had my heart really drawn to China as a result of this summer and God's work, I still really feel my heart beating stronger and stronger for Muslim and Arab peoples. He continues to place stories, people, and lessons all around me....I was extremely excited to discover that the Mosque in College Station is right down the street from my apartment....what a great opportunity for prayer walks. There is a Muslim girl in my class who I am so drawn to...I really want to get to know her....she is really shy and I'm not exactly an extreme extrovert, but I sit next to her each morning, and I am really enjoying getting to know her better, she is so precious.

Another thing I am praying about is observing Ramadan...from a Christian perspective. In other words, fasting just like Muslims do during the month of Ramadan, but taking it as an opportunity to fast and pray on behalf of Muslim people all over the world. I got the idea from a worker I talked to overseas this summer who did the same thing for Muslims in East Asia. I have never actually done a long fast before, but I really feel that God will move powerfully as a result.

I have had a lot of opportunity to read for pleasure lately...my strategy as of late has been to read in my breaks between class, and when I'm working out at the rec, and as a result, I have read some truly great missionary autobiographies lately. One of them in particular really spoke to me: Facing Terror, by Carrie McDonnall. She was a journeyman in the Middle East, and eventually lost her husband to terrorists when they were ministering in Iraq. I highly recommend it. I am currently finishing up "God's Call" by Brother Andrew.

Well, those are the happenings and current thoughts in my life right now...wo ai ni!

Back in the U.S. of A.

Well, I'm back. I have been for a while actually, but haven't really felt much like a blog post....kind of felt like deleting the blog actually...but it does have some good reminders of what I have been about this past year...some of which really displeases me..but hey, it is a testament to what the Lord has brought me through over this past year.

"How was your trip?"-I've been asked that multiple times of course, and it's still hard to answer....if I must sum it up in one word, I say amazing. I saw God work in incredible ways, and He definitely used the trip to change who I am as a person...to be honest, that's been really difficult coming back....trying to apply all the things I learned back at home has been challenging, but also extremely exciting. It's been hard to be back and have people not understand or really care what happened overseas, but then I have also been blessed to see what Father has been doing here while I've been away. He is the same powerful God all over the world....one thing I definitely learned over this trip is how much we, as humans, limit Him. He is not confined to our ways of working, or our timing, or even by our inadequate ways of proclaiming His name. I am completely humbled and awed to have been a part of his work in East Asia this summer. I miss my friends, but I know that He who began a good work in them is faithful to bring it to term. For now, He has ordained for me to be back In C-Stat.

Since coming back, I have made the difficult decision to quit my job without having something else lined up immediately. Last year was, quite frankly, a bad year....mainly due to the fact that I made work my number one priority when that should have been God, then relationships and school. I am anticipating that the next semester will be trying in many ways, but I am really looking forward to what God will walk me through this year...I'm along for the ride!

Ushpizin

Summer is going to go by so fast, I can already tell just by how fast this week has flown by....there were so many things that I wanted to get done...most of them are still as of yet, undone. Anyways.....HCCH graduation was on Saturday. Yes, i cried. Yes, i went home and looked through gazillions of boxes of stuff from high school, and I was retrospective. Yearbooks, notes, mementos of stuff I had, sadly, forgotten all about in the two years since high school ended. Crazy how fast time flies by. And how yes, some things change....even if you don't want them to.....and then also, how some things never change. :) You know, certain people you just have a connection with, and even time apart doesn't change that....and other people, it definitely does.

Anyways, enough of the sentimental stuff. God is doing something big. I haven't figured out what it is....but it's going to be incredible. That's all I gots to say on that, but even though I am still slightly apprehensive about this summer, I am EXCITED! I leave for training on Saturday, and then the 30th I'll be flying out of S.A. on this grand adventure that the Lord has in store.

*Random, or maybe not so random, side note*
I am one of those individuals who firmly believes that we learn the biggest lessons in unexpected places. There are new things to be shown all around, and today, I got a big spiritual lesson from a foreign film. If you get the chance, rent "Ushpizin", a Hebrew film (don't worry, if you aren't fluent, there are subtitles). Ushpizin is an Aramaic word which refers to holy guests. Used in this instance, holy guests during the celebration of sabbach, remembering the exodus from Egypt. Anyways, there were some very pointed lessons that were drawn from this film.....so yeah, watch it. Random lessons from today:
*We have a God whom we may fully expect to perform miracles. And even seemingly little things that a busy person overlooks are miracles, things to be on your knees thanking the Lord for, or things that we should be dancing around shouting praises to Him for.
*Tests, or difficult people, are blessings. Revolutionary thought, huh? One which I definitely need to learn.

Anyways.....on a closing note, I won't be writing on here for awhile. Please pray for me during my trip, and for my team, and the people that we will encounter. If you want email updates during the six weeks I am gone, and you didn't already tell me, let me know and I'll get your email address on the list. Love you all.

Dying inside....and nobody knows it but me...

Ok, that's a totally emo title for a post, but country music lyrics randomly popped into my head. anyways.

Sorry for the grouchy post below, hopefully this one won't turn into anything too terribly grouchy. Except that it is the start of my one week of finals/papers/stress. I seriously feel like I could die of a heart attack at any moment. Part of the problem is that everything feels like a bigger deal when you're sick, which I am, of course. It was bound to happen at finals time.

Second big stress: For once I am attempting this new thing called studying hardcore for anthropology, and I CAN'T. The lectures are online, and my comp is too slow, but the computer lab at the apartment doesn't have headphone jacks....so yeah. Failing an online anthropology course is not going to make me a happy camper. Neither will getting evicted from my apartment. The one downside of getting your hours cut at work (which is nice for the study time) is that then you don't have money for little things like, oh, your apartment payments.

so, sorry for the negative tone. I am trying to prepare myself for East Asia, but it's not going so well....someone please just shoot me.

Yeah. So I'm sick. It was bound to happen right before finals....and I think something about being sick makes everything else seem like a bigger deal than it is.....

Anyways, if y'all could just pray for me..I'm under a whole lotta stress with work cutting my hours, not being able to pay for apartment, and other stuff....yeah.

Thanks and gig em, more to come later after I sleep this sickness off.