I burn....

So, this weekend was...interesting.

Romeo and Juliet was really good, it made me miss acting/Shakespeare/directing a lot...and my brothers were brilliant in it of course. :)

I saw some people I haven't seen in a long time....it's funny how with some people it's like no time has passed at all...and others....things are just soooo different. *insert nostalgic sigh*

Anyways, in many ways, this weekend sucked. I drove back to College Station burning with resentment, anger, and just an overall pissed-off attitude.

It takes a lot for me to get to a point where I really dislike someone. For the most part, I'm pretty forgiving, and I don't get my feelings hurt that easily. But mess with someone I care about.....watch out. Especially my mom, who is one of the most giving, sincere, earnest people that I know. People are treating her like shit lately, and she's really under a lot of spiritual attack for something which she spends almost all of her time doing for the Lord and for the people around her. I seriously do not think I have been this angry in years...not even kidding. I would just look at certain people and want to spit....seriously, it's not good. I'm not sure how to handle it...cause to some extent I feel like my mom doesn't stand up for herself enough....and if I were to follow my gut instinct, I would tell these ungrateful people to get over their fucking childishness and realize that there is an entire world out there with bigger problems than the load of shit that they try to fill my Mom's life with. Get over your self and worry about bigger things, like a lost and dying world that needs the light of Christ.

The problems that arise when Christians isolate themselves....and when they are consumed with legalism as opposed to the Holy Spirit. Yep, I know I just used the f word. Yep, I know that hate is a sinful attitude. This is honestly where I am at right now though....I realize that I need to pray about my own attitude, but I also am praying about how I can help my family deal with this shit.

Because being home for two days was enough to make me remember how much I really don't miss a lot of the stuff I put up with in high school....I try not to bad-mouth the homeschool community around the outside world, because they already have a pretty misguided conception of what homeschooling is about anyway, and once again, I am so grateful to my parents for homeschooling me...but then, we were pretty much the rebels of the homeschool group, so my experience was probably pretty different than many homeschoolers.

I am just fed up with Christians tearing other Christians down, and worrying more about whether someone else is doing something the way they would do it, when there is a whole lost world out there that needs the gospel. I am sick of people complaining about things when they are not doing anything to help with the problem.

The first thing I heard when I walked in Bracken Friday night? A whispered comment behind my back. "Ohh...I see board member kids are allowed to wear sleveless shirts."
WTF??? Uhm, I don't know if you realized this, but I AM NOT AT SAC DAY. I AM IN COLLEGE, AND MY PARENTS SHOULD NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT I DO.


And then....Sunday night was out East Asia team meeting...annnnnd guess what a recurring theme was? Hate and anger. I need to get this off my chest, and not let it get to me.